It's been a while.  A long while.  To catch you up, I broke my leg on the descent from a 14er in June. 

It was a hard summer, but I've been cleared to walk again for exercise, so I'm back at it.  Just a couple miles each day with the neighbor, but at least I'm moving again!  I was so paranoid about gaining weight while I had the cast on that I was really careful about what I ate, and ended up down 10 lbs when the cast came off ... which I promptly gained right back.

All of that to say that I am back in the saddle, or on the sidewalk (or insert appropriate metaphor here), and back to logging on Loseit.  They've added cute and creative notifications to the app that help too!

Yesterday I re-read my blog from start to finish.  For the motivation alone, I'm glad I blogged.  And so I begin again.  Or resume.  Or continue.  Nothing deep here, other than I'm back at it.  Anyone else?

The sun will come out tomorrow ...

The plan for today had been to do my first fourteener and you'd have been reading about that late tonight or some time tomorrow.

Instead, we got rain on and off all night last night, and this morning as well.  And because I'm a native and we live in a drought state*, I'm not allowed to complain about rain (PSA:  DO NOT COME TO COLORADO AND COMPLAIN ABOUT RAIN.  EVER.  WE WILL RUN YOU OUT OF TOWN).  Truly; I'm not.  I really do love when we get rain.  But it did put a little crimp in our plans for today ....

And in fact, the rain wasn't really the only reason I didn't go today.  For the last 3 days, I've been battling a summer cold and/or allergy something-or-other that makes me feel less than 100%.  So although I really really wanted to do that hike today, it's probably better that I don't; and so I did feel a little relieved when I got the email last night that it was cancelled for sure.

In preparation for this epic hike, I have a new Camelbak, and I had my trailrunning shoes ready, and I'd thought a lot about what I'd wear, and what food I'd take, and ... well.  It will just have to wait for another day.  And as you can imagine, I was still disappointed that it was cancelled

And so I woke up this morning feeling a little sorry for myself.  A little pathetic.  A little full of nose.  A little scratchy of throat.  And a lot "wah! I'm not doing a fourteener!"

And then I saw this:

down 75 lbs at 175!

And now I feel a lot better :)




*Much of Colorado is a very dry state averaging only 17 inches (430 mm) of precipitation per year statewide and rarely experiences a time when some portion of the state is not in some degree of drought. The lack of precipitation contributes to the severity of wildfires in the state such as the Hayman Fire, one of the largest wildfires in American history, and the Fourmile Canyon Fire of 2010, which until the Waldo Canyon Fire of June 2012, and the Black Forest Fire approximately a year later, was the most destructive wildfire in Colorado's recorded history.

"Limping is still walking"

I can't remember if I blogged about it or just talked about it a lot (and clearly I'm too lazy to go back and check), but in the first half mile of the half marathon, we passed a (larger) girl walking with a pin on her backpack that said, "Limping is still walking".  It kind of choked me up!  As we pulled up next to her, I told her I liked her pin and she smiled.  Poor thing was walking by herself -- slowly -- but she was doing it!  I was so impressed!

A few days (or weeks or months) ago, this was in the SparkPeople email:

I don't know why this has been on my mind so much lately, but perhaps you need some encouragement and so I needed to post it.  Let me just tell you -- moving slowly is still moving.  Walking slowly is still moving.  Running slowly is still moving.  Lifting 2-pound weights is still moving.  Doing 10 situps is still moving.  Get it?  Do not be discouraged!  Here's something else I pinned to my "bodyspiration" board months ago:

Let me tell you:  THIS. IS. TRUE.  I used to huff and puff and sweat like a pig for 2 miles with my neighbor (and fear that I couldn't make it up the last teeny tiny uphill at the end before our street).  Now I regularly do 6 or more miles and run some.  And recently I went to my first Zumba class.  During the first 3 minutes, it occurred to me this is like 80s aerobics and I will probably die soon.  Imagine my surprise that although I did sweat like a pig, I didn't run out of air!  And I did the whole hour.  Shock.  That's the only word for it.

So be encouraged.  You too can be shocked by something you never thought was possible.  If you've already experienced it, tell me about it!  Maybe it's something as simple as:  one day you're sitting in a chair and you realize you can cross your legs.  And it's been YEARS since you did that.  YEARS.  And even though there's no elegant way to take a picture of your own legs crossed, you still do it because ohmyHEAD I CAN CROSS MY LEGS!

It takes time ... lots of time

Nobody ever said it would be easy.

Actually, that's not true.  People say it's easy all the time.  They are wrong.  Wrong, wrong, wrong.  Boy, are they wrong.

I've had a LOT of conversations over the last year about time and choices, and every time I have another one, I think, "I should blog about this."  In fact, I started this particular blog entry in March :)  (yet another illustration of the time I don't have)

Anyway, I don't know if you're like I am or not, but as much as walking has been "easy" (relatively speaking); it's also been really hard in terms of time.  As an example, I generally read about 100 books a year, give or take a few.  Last year, my Goodreads "2012 read" tag told me I read a grand total of 16 books.  And most all of them were "assigned" reading -- that is, they were for one of the book clubs I'm in.  Now that I think about it, I'm not sure that I read a single book of my own choosing last year.... But I digress.  My point is that losing weight or getting healthy or even just choosing to exercise in general has taken a LOT of time.  Let's look at my (not comprehensive) bulletted TIME list:

• Less time for book reading
• More dirty dishes on the counter more of the time.  I think I've mentioned this before, but I swear our dishwasher was never empty this last year.  It was always full of clean dishes that I only unloaded when the counter was so full I was forced to make the swap.
• Lots of calendar-juggling for showers.  This sounds funny, but was seriously a problem for a while.  Historically, I prefer to work out first thing in the morning, shower, and then get on with my day.  In a perfect, Pinterest-worthy life, that's certainly what I'd do.  But that's not the real world.  At least, not in my life, anyway.  And so "needing to take a shower" because reason #985 why I didn't work out.  IN THE PAST.  Now I shower when I can.  If I have time for a shower but not for my hair, I wear a hat.  Being healthy is more important and that is (starting) to come first.  I'm rather proud of this, even though it's inconvenient and I'm not that cute.  (Pro tip:  being 70 pounds smaller makes it less imperative to be in cute clothes and have my hair done.  Skinny people go out in sweats or sweats-equivalents all the time, and still manage to look cute too.)
• Working out creates additional laundry and/or laundry scenarios.  So if you work out more, guess what?  You either need more workout clothes, or to do laundry more often.  And if you buy anything other than cotton sweats and t-shirts, you don't want to dry your workout clothes.  So you have clothes on the clothes horse and/or wear clothes with wet waistbands or whatever.  Either way, laundry matters in this new lifestyle.

  

  More evidence of the passing of time:
  I cut this up! No more big girl stores!

  
  

• Closet maintentance.  I now find myself spending inordinate and heretofore-unprecedented amounts of time finding something to wear (that won't fall off), culling clothes for either the consignment shop or Goodwill or a friend, and shopping for new regular and workout clothes that aren't too expensive but will serve the purpose for now as this isn't the final size I'll be.  Seriously, it's exhausting, and I'm not even one of those clotheshorsey girls!

There's more, but I don't want to read long blog entries any more than you do.  The point is that it's not easy, and it does take more time.  Actually, that's not my point.  My point is this:  it's worth it.  It's really, really worth it.  REALLY!  I feel better, I look better, my husband smiles more, I smile more, .... seriously, it feels so so good to have lost 70 pounds.  And even though I have more to go, the "how good it feels" is providing the motivation now.  So yay!

If you want to read additional, professional comments on "time,"  I copied and pasted the text below from a recent SparkPeople article.  I thought it was pretty good reading, actually:

Sometimes you have to make sacrifices in one area (like TV time) to make room for another (like a trip to the gym). It's hard at first, but you get used to it. Really! Eventually, your desire to be fit and healthy will outweigh your desire to be a couch potato! Where can you cut back in order to make time for exercise?
1. Financial Fit Tip: Plan for the big stuff. When you go on vacation, you don't just wake up one morning and decide to shell out thousands of dollars for last-minute flights and hotels, and you don't leave your co-workers unprepared for your absence. You plan. Planning your big expenditures ahead of time will save you serious dough. Whether it's a car, a vacation, or a home remodeling project, sock away money each month in an account set aside for that specific splurge. A couple hundred dollars set aside over the course of a year has much less impact than a couple of thousand does at the last minute.

Apply it to Physical Fitness: Just like you wouldn't go on a vacation at the last minute, you wouldn't wake up one morning and decide to run a marathon, either. If you're new to the exercise arena, take it slow when it comes to working out, and work up to greater challenges. You're more likely to avoid injuries and burnout if you ease into exercise. If distance running is your goal, find an online training plan that will help you build up gradually to your desired race length. If you want to do 20 push-ups or lose 100 pounds, start with five and go from there.

Apply it to Physical Fitness: Many people feel that working out isn't worth their time if they can't get to a gym for a solid hour. But it's time to rethink that mentality! According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, exercising for 10 minutes at a time still counts toward your weekly goal of 150 minutes of activity. So take that short walk to the post office, or climb the stairs at work instead of taking the elevator. The little things do matter and add up to something bigger!

"If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up."

Today's headline was a quote I read first thing this morning, and it's basically the theme of The Girl Who Cried Skinny.  I really was the girl who always said I'd lose weight, or told myself I'd lose weight, or was about to start a "program" ....  And I did try a lot of things.  No actual diets (I'm offended by them, to be frank), but lots of ways of eating, attempts at regular exercise, etc., etc.  Honestly?  I think I kept thinking it would "just happen".  How; I have no idea, but I seriously didn't think I'd be a heavy person for the majority of my adult life.  And yet, I was.

That quote is the kind of thing you see all the time.  It falls under the "possibly cheesy, vaguely motivational" category.  And a couple of years ago, I wouldn't have given it a second thought.  Maybe because now I'm actually doing something about this mess of weight I'm in, it actually resonated with me.  I don't know, but I find it deeply profound.  I realize, of course, that it's rather a big fat, "DUH!" to some people, but for me, it was ... yeah, profound!

Anyway, I'm writing this so I remember how I felt while I was doing it, but more importantly in hopes that it will motivate someone else.  So if that quote is your OHMYWORD thing, then I'm glad I copied it from SparkPeople :)

And if that doesn't motivate you, think about how great you'd feel when you woke up and realized you'd LOST FORTY POUNDS!  Yeah, I said it.  I'm down 40 lbs. today.  And so it's time for the 10-pound-pics:

Official -40 pic

-30

-20

-10

approx 250 lbs.

For the record, this is Week 20 of my "program".  I've been doing loseit.com and walking.  That's it.  A yoga class here or there, and semi-regular situp sessions, but really just walking in the mornings. Trust me; I'm as shocked as you are.

Shocking: the stuff in my head is not always correct

my sister misses this shirt but
is glad I can wear it :)

I have spent a lot of the overweight portion of my life concerned about what other (especially fit) people think of me if/when I attempt to work out, and I don't think I'm alone in this concern.  Why do we do this?  Because we're self-centered human beings, that's why!  Nevertheless, I have.  And -- historically -- that's just been one more reason for me not to go to a gym, or go for a walk, or heaven forbid! Go for a run.

Here's the thing, though.  Real life is THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF MY FEARS!  I mean it.  I've had friends offer to meet me for walks when I know they are runners.  Recently, a friend offered to meet at Red Rocks Amphitheatre and walk it with me (seriously, look at that pic - people in Denver "do the stairs" or "run Red Rocks" all the time for exercise.  It's insane).  I know she can run the stairs at Red Rocks, but she's offering to walk it with me.  Other (fit) people are really encouraging.  Last night at yoga, 2 of the women in class talked to me about how I (mostly) kept up with the class and were just in general super enthusiastic about my progress.  One of them is also a yoga teacher, and one of them teaches kick-boxing!  She could kick my ass but instead talked about how much smaller it is :)  (she didn't use that word - she just said that when she sat behind me in church last week, she knew she was sitting behind where I usually sit but didn't think she knew the person in "my" seat.  It was me!)

And then again this morning while walking, I was behind a cute and athletic runner (who even smelled good!  Trust me; I wanted to trip her when she passed me) who waved at another runner coming toward us.  The second lady runner, also in good shape?  Kept her hand up to wave at me and smiled just as much as when she passed the first lady runner.  I took that to mean, "good job" and "you go, girl!"  My point is that my fit friends have been SO supportive of my weight loss and so encouraging, and they seem genuinely impressed that I'm walking so much.  Am I running the stairs at an outdoor amphitheatre?  Nope.  Am I bench-pressing 500 pounds?  Nope.  But I am doing something, and it seems they are happy for me.  And that, folks, is a lesson I needed to learn.

So... if that has been one of the things holding you back, let me assure you you can cross it off your list.  Really!

Update:  Holy Cow.  I just saw this entry that goes hand-in-hand with mine.  It's a beautiful blog post that totally made me cry.  But also confirmed what I was postulating :)  Read it -- I love that it's called:  Hey, Fat Girl