Amazing. And I'm not even talking about Kauai's beaches.

Kids, I have something amazing to tell you, and it doesn't even include this picture I took with my iPhone.  Well, it does a little.  But that's not the the point or the amazing thing.

This post is all about 2 things.  Just two.  1.  airplane bathrooms, and 2.  hotel towels.  Now watch: I'm going to get a bunch of travel industry spam.

Anyway, for number 1:
If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know I hadn't been on a plane post-weight-loss until the Seattle Half Marathon in November.  Since then, I think I was only on one other plane trip (for Christmas).  If you're like most people, you avoid airplane bathrooms like the plague.  I'm like most people.  So even though I'd been on 4 or so planes since losing a large chunk of my weight, I hadn't used an airplane bathroom.  Because you know, a one-foot square box just isn't fun.  But last week, my husband and I went to Kauai for the 2nd time in 22 years, and that's a long freaking flight, yo!  So I actually had to use the bathroom on the plane.  And ... OHMYWORD!  AloHA!  I fit in the bathroom!  It was still small, of course, but ... it wasn't awful.  I mean I really didn't mind it!  And in fact, I went more than once on the first flight because (were you listening?)  it wasn't awful!  Historically, I'd go if I absolutely had to, but if I thought I needed to go again and we were an hour or so from landing, I'd wait.  So here's my newest revelation:  if you are not grossly overweight, an airplane bathroom is Just. Not. That. Bad.

So that's number 1.

Here's number 2:  on Friday, July 5, at 2:28 pm Hawaii time, I experienced Nirvana.  Or something really, really close.  I WRAPPED A HOTEL TOWEL AROUND MYSELF!  Not a beach towel; an actual, normal, hotel towel. Big girls know what this means.  Small girls didn't know it wasn't normal.  Trust me; it's not normal.  Big girls spend their whole lives taking their clothes with them into any shower situation where a small girl would just wrap a towel around herself.  Rejoice with me, friends:  this was huge.

Here's the instagram feed of our trip -- I tried not to add too much spam -- just a few pretty pics. http://followgram.me/tag/returntokauai

"Limping is still walking"

I can't remember if I blogged about it or just talked about it a lot (and clearly I'm too lazy to go back and check), but in the first half mile of the half marathon, we passed a (larger) girl walking with a pin on her backpack that said, "Limping is still walking".  It kind of choked me up!  As we pulled up next to her, I told her I liked her pin and she smiled.  Poor thing was walking by herself -- slowly -- but she was doing it!  I was so impressed!

A few days (or weeks or months) ago, this was in the SparkPeople email:

I don't know why this has been on my mind so much lately, but perhaps you need some encouragement and so I needed to post it.  Let me just tell you -- moving slowly is still moving.  Walking slowly is still moving.  Running slowly is still moving.  Lifting 2-pound weights is still moving.  Doing 10 situps is still moving.  Get it?  Do not be discouraged!  Here's something else I pinned to my "bodyspiration" board months ago:

Let me tell you:  THIS. IS. TRUE.  I used to huff and puff and sweat like a pig for 2 miles with my neighbor (and fear that I couldn't make it up the last teeny tiny uphill at the end before our street).  Now I regularly do 6 or more miles and run some.  And recently I went to my first Zumba class.  During the first 3 minutes, it occurred to me this is like 80s aerobics and I will probably die soon.  Imagine my surprise that although I did sweat like a pig, I didn't run out of air!  And I did the whole hour.  Shock.  That's the only word for it.

So be encouraged.  You too can be shocked by something you never thought was possible.  If you've already experienced it, tell me about it!  Maybe it's something as simple as:  one day you're sitting in a chair and you realize you can cross your legs.  And it's been YEARS since you did that.  YEARS.  And even though there's no elegant way to take a picture of your own legs crossed, you still do it because ohmyHEAD I CAN CROSS MY LEGS!

It takes time ... lots of time

Nobody ever said it would be easy.

Actually, that's not true.  People say it's easy all the time.  They are wrong.  Wrong, wrong, wrong.  Boy, are they wrong.

I've had a LOT of conversations over the last year about time and choices, and every time I have another one, I think, "I should blog about this."  In fact, I started this particular blog entry in March :)  (yet another illustration of the time I don't have)

Anyway, I don't know if you're like I am or not, but as much as walking has been "easy" (relatively speaking); it's also been really hard in terms of time.  As an example, I generally read about 100 books a year, give or take a few.  Last year, my Goodreads "2012 read" tag told me I read a grand total of 16 books.  And most all of them were "assigned" reading -- that is, they were for one of the book clubs I'm in.  Now that I think about it, I'm not sure that I read a single book of my own choosing last year.... But I digress.  My point is that losing weight or getting healthy or even just choosing to exercise in general has taken a LOT of time.  Let's look at my (not comprehensive) bulletted TIME list:

• Less time for book reading
• More dirty dishes on the counter more of the time.  I think I've mentioned this before, but I swear our dishwasher was never empty this last year.  It was always full of clean dishes that I only unloaded when the counter was so full I was forced to make the swap.
• Lots of calendar-juggling for showers.  This sounds funny, but was seriously a problem for a while.  Historically, I prefer to work out first thing in the morning, shower, and then get on with my day.  In a perfect, Pinterest-worthy life, that's certainly what I'd do.  But that's not the real world.  At least, not in my life, anyway.  And so "needing to take a shower" because reason #985 why I didn't work out.  IN THE PAST.  Now I shower when I can.  If I have time for a shower but not for my hair, I wear a hat.  Being healthy is more important and that is (starting) to come first.  I'm rather proud of this, even though it's inconvenient and I'm not that cute.  (Pro tip:  being 70 pounds smaller makes it less imperative to be in cute clothes and have my hair done.  Skinny people go out in sweats or sweats-equivalents all the time, and still manage to look cute too.)
• Working out creates additional laundry and/or laundry scenarios.  So if you work out more, guess what?  You either need more workout clothes, or to do laundry more often.  And if you buy anything other than cotton sweats and t-shirts, you don't want to dry your workout clothes.  So you have clothes on the clothes horse and/or wear clothes with wet waistbands or whatever.  Either way, laundry matters in this new lifestyle.

  

  More evidence of the passing of time:
  I cut this up! No more big girl stores!

  
  

• Closet maintentance.  I now find myself spending inordinate and heretofore-unprecedented amounts of time finding something to wear (that won't fall off), culling clothes for either the consignment shop or Goodwill or a friend, and shopping for new regular and workout clothes that aren't too expensive but will serve the purpose for now as this isn't the final size I'll be.  Seriously, it's exhausting, and I'm not even one of those clotheshorsey girls!

There's more, but I don't want to read long blog entries any more than you do.  The point is that it's not easy, and it does take more time.  Actually, that's not my point.  My point is this:  it's worth it.  It's really, really worth it.  REALLY!  I feel better, I look better, my husband smiles more, I smile more, .... seriously, it feels so so good to have lost 70 pounds.  And even though I have more to go, the "how good it feels" is providing the motivation now.  So yay!

If you want to read additional, professional comments on "time,"  I copied and pasted the text below from a recent SparkPeople article.  I thought it was pretty good reading, actually:

Sometimes you have to make sacrifices in one area (like TV time) to make room for another (like a trip to the gym). It's hard at first, but you get used to it. Really! Eventually, your desire to be fit and healthy will outweigh your desire to be a couch potato! Where can you cut back in order to make time for exercise?
1. Financial Fit Tip: Plan for the big stuff. When you go on vacation, you don't just wake up one morning and decide to shell out thousands of dollars for last-minute flights and hotels, and you don't leave your co-workers unprepared for your absence. You plan. Planning your big expenditures ahead of time will save you serious dough. Whether it's a car, a vacation, or a home remodeling project, sock away money each month in an account set aside for that specific splurge. A couple hundred dollars set aside over the course of a year has much less impact than a couple of thousand does at the last minute.

Apply it to Physical Fitness: Just like you wouldn't go on a vacation at the last minute, you wouldn't wake up one morning and decide to run a marathon, either. If you're new to the exercise arena, take it slow when it comes to working out, and work up to greater challenges. You're more likely to avoid injuries and burnout if you ease into exercise. If distance running is your goal, find an online training plan that will help you build up gradually to your desired race length. If you want to do 20 push-ups or lose 100 pounds, start with five and go from there.

Apply it to Physical Fitness: Many people feel that working out isn't worth their time if they can't get to a gym for a solid hour. But it's time to rethink that mentality! According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, exercising for 10 minutes at a time still counts toward your weekly goal of 150 minutes of activity. So take that short walk to the post office, or climb the stairs at work instead of taking the elevator. The little things do matter and add up to something bigger!

Magical Transformer Underwear!

It's possible this will only entertain me, but ... well, that means at least one person thinks it's entertaining, so here you have it:  transformer underwear.

I mentioned recently that size 7 underwear looks significantly smaller straight out of the package than size 9.  Guess what?  It also looks smaller than size 10!  Turns out I'd been wearing underwear sizes 9 and 10 since I was at my highest weight.  Interestingly, of all the clothes I'd taken to the consignment shop, or the charity shop, or are sitting in a pile because I don't know what to do with them, it took me QUITE a while to need new underwear.  But evidently I'm a little slow on the uptake, because I was thinking, "these still fit me" all along. When in fact what had happened was this:

Cute little hipster underwear that used to fit like this or was at least cut to fit like this (only with a few more fat rolls than this model, plus actual hips):

Turned into granny panties like this (The Hubs calls them GPs):

So ... yes, in fact, they DO fit ... but ohmyword, they look hilarious!  What's funnier is that I don't think I even figured it out -- The Hubs noticed I'd been wearing GPs -- lots of them -- since I'd lost weight (the assumption, of course, being that once a person lost weight, they'd prefer littler, prettier undies, no?), and even then it took a while for me to figure it out.  OH. DUH.  I actually have lost weight, and continuing to wear the same underwear just means it covers more of me.  And because there's nothing wrong with them --  no rips, tears, or holes -- I hate to throw them out!

But I've tossed all the 10s (no; I am NOT donating them to a charity shop), and I'm weeding out the 9s.  And I'm wearing the new 7s that I bought, which look a lot more like the top picture on me than any underwear ever did before :)

Now, if  someone could please get rid of these piles ...

1. clothes I think I'm going to do something with 2. clothes I have no idea why are in another pile  3. clothes to go to the charity shop

1. clothes for the consignment shop for next winter  2. rag bag

And then I compared two pictures...

I saw this this morning, and because I am, in fact, the Queen of Procrastination, it seemed appropriate.  Why, beyond the obvious?  Because I was on Pinterest, looking for some inspiration :)  LOLz

Anyway, back to the subject at hand:
A long time ago (June 6, 2012, to be exact), I took a picture of myself in an outfit I wear often to walk in.  It occurred to me sometime later that it might be fun to continue to take pics of myself in the same outfit over time, for comparison purposes.  So I've been taking this picture ever since, randomly when I happen to be wearing the same clothes.  Yes, the same clothes.  Oddly, they aren't falling off me yet, which would be kind of cool, but suffice it to say they are snug and/or made of magical stretchy things.  Or something.

On February 28, 2013, I happened to be wearing that outfit again, so I took the pic.  And for the first time, I compared it to the original.  I'd been avoiding comparing them - I see them periodically when I scroll through the pics in my phone's photo album, but I really haven't looked closely at them.  It's possible I feared there wouldn't be a noticeable difference, if I'm being honest.

Anyway, if this makes you spontaneously burst into "Baby Got Back," don't feel bad -- I did, too :)

June 6, 234 lbs       vs.       Feb 28, 187 lbs.

Yes, I will post the whole series when I am closer to my goal weight, but for now, this is the wallpaper on my phone because I find it frickin inspiring!

And for some other non-milestone milestones, I have this to share with you:

• Size 7 underwear is visibly, noticeably smaller than size 9 underwear.  Trust me on this.
• I finally had to take my wedding ring in to be sized down, because it was about to fall off me.  So yeah, that happened.

Just a shortie ...

I have been composing an epic half-marathon post in my head since Thanksgiving, and I really am planning on recapping it, but today is not that day.  Tomorrow probably won't be it either.

Instead I want to just drop a note, if you will, about 2 things that surprised and delighted me yesterday and today.

People who live in urban environments won't think much of the first thing, but it's a big deal for a (mostly former) fat girl who lives in the suburbs.  I had a very long list of errands to run yesterday, and of course started them later than I intended.  Basically, I'd waited until the last possible moment (not technically, but ...) to finish my Christmas shopping and take care of some things for the house, too.  So it's dark and the hubs is working, and I'm annoyed with myself for waiting so long, and I realize I can run about 4 of my errands from one central parking space.  Is that really possible?  Park at one store and hit 4?  Why yes, yes it was.  And although it was dark out, it wasn't too cold, so I actually enjoyed walking from one store to another (in opposite directions, even!).  AND ... because I'd chosen to walk, I was able to stop and take a picture of three women together (they were taking turns taking pics with just two of them in it) and count that as one of my #26acts! (Click here if you don't know what that is)  And then I moved the car and did the same thing all over again!  I realize if I lived in New York or Zurich, I'd have walked for all my errands, but completing tons of stops with only two parking spots was for me a very big deal.  I think I walked an extra 20 or more minutes yesterday because of it!  Bonus:  no road rage, wasted gas, fighting for parking spots, either.

Thing 2:  the hubs got up REALLY early this morning and it was pretty windy, so I got up too (that's not the thing).  I decided I'd go to the gym and be amazing.  Or at least, accomplish a workout.  So I got ready and went.  Sidenote:  my gym doesn't open until 7:00 on Sundays.

Anyway, I got on the elliptical trainer (once the doors were open) and got to work.  I'd been on about 15 minutes when I realized something that almost blew my mind.  #1, I found out when the "chubby girls" go to the gym -- they go at the crack of dawn!  I'm guessing so they can hide.  But #2 is this.  I WAS THE SMALLEST GIRL IN THE GYM!

Never in my life, even when I was working out 5 days a week before I got married (not to fit into a dress, but because my fiancee lived in Chicago and I was in Denver) have I been the smallest girl in the gym.  And it only lasted for about a half hour before a stick came in, but still.  That was a shocking, amazing, mind-blowing thing.

I realize that there isn't really anything deep about this entry in and of itself, but these are milestones in my life.  I'm not the girl who would look at extra walking as enjoyable and/or fun in any way.  And I'm certainly not the "small girl" at the gym.  Well, I'm not anyway, but you know what I'm saying.

I'll be back on the blogging bandwagon shortly, folks.  Thanks for reading.  And happy holidays, from my house to yours.

'twas the night before the marathon

I've never posted from my phone before, so this is a test :)

First, I want to report that even the very last row of the plane was -mostly- comfortable at -50 lbs! (That will be pic #1 if the phone lets me post it)

Second, we have our (wicking) shirts for the race, AND IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE SUNNY...ish. So yay! Because I've been training in sunny Colorado and was frankly concerned about cold rain. (And that will be pic #2)

So tonight we carb-loaded on tortellini (for my family's entertainment: tortellini! That's great; I'm excited!), go to bed, and hopefully fall immediately to sleep. And tomorrow we walk/run.

And Gramma and the little boys made signs to cheer us on :)

My most ridiculous (first world) problem yet!

Regular readers know about my whole "non-milestone milestones" concept.  It's basically just the idea of Things that don't fall into the category of round numbers and Big Signs.  I.e., Lost 20 pounds!  Changed a clothing size!  Hit my wedding weight!  Those things are all legitimate milestones, right?  So how do you categorize things like "switched to a new row of hooks on my bra"?  Well, you call it a non-milestone milestone, is what you do.

So, you know about the non-milestone milestones concept, and you should also know  that I've said many times that I realize these "problems" I've come across due to weight loss are truly first world problems.  But this week I sunk to a new low.  I am now complaining about my sleeves.  Yes, sleeves.  I am an embarrassment to society.

I have several tops -- sweaters, sweatshirts, long sleeved t-shirts ... whatever -- that actually still fit.  Or fit now and didn't before, or just look way better now than they ever did before.  So what am I complaining about?  It took me several days in a row of pushing up my falling-down sleeves during dinner prep to figure it out.  Either my arms have actually gotten smaller or these shirts just have big cuffs.  Or something.  Because when I push my sleeves up on these shirts, they don't stay "up"!  Which is kind of a pain when you're washing dishes or stirring chili, or even if you're just warm and want a little less fabric covering your forearms.  If you'd asked me 6 months ago, I'd have said my forearms didn't really carry any fat.  My wrists looked the same to me as they always had, and I wouldn't have thought there was extra weight there.  I was wrong.  And now most of my sleeves are falling down :)  I even have an elastic bracelet that fits differently.  And by "fits", I mean "doesn't cut off my circulation when I wear it".  So yeah, I've lost weight in my forearms.


Lest it sound like all I do is complain, I do have a happy non-milestone milestone to say "Yay!" about:  Boots!  Last year (and honestly, for the 2 or 3 years before that) I attempted to get a cute pair of boots to wear.  I was pinning them on Pinterest, I was ordering them from Zappos (free shipping on returns!), and none of them fit.  I can't even tell you how many pair of boots I ordered -- maybe 15? 20?  All labelled "wide calf", and almost none of them fit.  The few that did actually zip looked awful.  I decided last year, sadly, that I was actually too fat to wear cute boots.  Which was sad in and of itself because let's face it; the last bastion of cute things for fat girls is shoes.

"Clothes never look any good... food just makes me fatter... shoes always fit."

Jennifer Weiner

In Her Shoes

But THIS year, I thought I'd try again.  Why not?  I'm not my parents' most stubborn child for nothing!  So I ordered another 5 pair -- still staying in the "wide calf" genre -- and ... THEY ALL FIT!!!!!  I'm serious!  Every single pair fit me!  After picking myself off the floor and sending pics of them to my fashion squad via group text, I selected some to keep.  So maybe it's not a big round number (like "I'm down 50 pounds!"), but wearing cute boots was one of my fashion heart's desires, and now I can.

Those sleeves totally fell down after this pic

I'm on the left. It's OK to laugh :)

So here's a pic of me in said boots, AND a bonus pic from the summer of 1985 or 1986.  Why?  Because I'm wearing "skinny jeans" with my new boots, and the other pic is the last time I wore "skinny jeans".  Except we only called them "jeans" then (sometimes peg-leg pants).

Plus-sized models, lattes and staircases. Oh my?

Remember when I wrote my Dear John letter to big girl stores?  Well, even though I wrote it, I'm still getting mailers (no surprise).  A couple nights ago, the hubs picked up the mail and this card was in it.  He commented that at one time, I actually looked a bit like this girl, and it occurred to him that for one thing, I didn't anymore, and for another, I probably couldn't even shop at Lane Bryant any more.  I grinned and told him about my Dear John letter :)

a couple years and about 50 pounds ago

And then there's this.  It's something I realized this week.  My attitude toward food/fuel/intake is changing.  Slowly, like The Titanic attempting to execute a tight turn ... but still; it's changing.  Maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but it is to me.  There was only about a quarter of a cup left in the bottom of my latte mug and it was cold.  So I threw it out.  Keep in mind it wasn't a $5 drink I had paid for; it was a latte I had made in my own kitchen (yeah, yeah, I know I paid for it, but you know).  I guess my thinking was that I've had enough caffeine from it, I'm not hungry, and it doesn't actually taste good once it's cold, so ... why keep drinking those calories?  I don't need 'em.  And this wasn't the first time!  I bet I've changed "1 latte" to "3/4 serving" in loseit.com about 10 times in the last 2 months.  That's a lot of saved calories!  I know -- this isn't a big thing, really.  But in terms of all the times in my life I've finished a plate or a bowl or a something of something, just because it was in front of me?  It's a big thing :)  (I included the pic because it occurred to me I make really big lattes and this "small thing" might seem even smaller if you were picturing a smaller drink)

And here's another non-milestone milestone:  I used to knock myself out to stay upstairs or downstairs.  That is, when I left the upstairs, I'd carry everything with me I could think of that I'd need when I was on the main level.  And vice versa -- if I went upstairs, I wanted to be done downstairs.  Not have to run back down for something I forgot or didn't need once I got up there, regardless of what I'd planned in advance.  To spell it out:  I avoided the staircase like the plague.  It put me out of breath, it hurt my knees, it kind of hurt my back, and if I forgot something once I got up or down it; tough.  I'd just get that thing later or take care of it when I went back up or down for something bigger.  Yes, that's how out of shape I was - I avoided my own staircase.  Really.  Guess what?  Now it doesn't bother me at all.  I can run up or down it as much as I like or need to.  And if I forget something?  I view it as extra calories burned!  In a good way (not like "I don't have to work out because I went up one flight of stairs)!  If I get downstairs and realize I left something upstairs, I just run right back up and get it!

And you know what?  I had thought (but not mentioned to the hubs at all) about 3 or 4 years ago that we probably couldn't live in this house much longer based on the way my knees felt.  Yeah, right.  You see what I was thinking?  Let's get a ranch-style house because I'm too fat to take the stairs.  Let's move everything because I'm fat.  Let's leave a neighborhood we like and a fabulous view of the foothills because I'm fat.  I know some people don't like that word, but I use it to make a point.  And really?  I don't want to do any of those things because I'm overweight.  I only want to do those things when we're ready to buy a new house ... for whatever is the right reason at that time.  But certainly not because the stairs make my knees hurt.  Because frankly it was never the stairs making my knees hurt ...