Comparison pics

I said long ago that a lack of comparison pics was a big disappointment in one of the first weight loss blogs I read, and I was going to be sure to put a lot in my own blog.  So it's possible I'm going overboard :)   In this latest installment, I'm comparing our church's women's retreat from October of 2011 to our latest retreat in May of 2013.  I told my husband leading worship must be pretty good exercise, as I came back from this year's retreat down 3.5 pounds if I recall correctly.

Anyway, here are some pics from 2011 and this year.  I think it's pretty obvious which are which :) 

Here's what's interesting to me.  I had taken a lot of cute late summer/early fall-ish tops to wear -- it was still plenty warm down in Denver around that time, but when we got up in the mountains, it was cold.  Colder than I prepared for.  We even had some snow at least one of the days.  So I chose to wear this long-sleeved thermal shirt on stage.  I think I had taken it up as "free-time clothes".  It was huge - even for me -- and I think (?) from the men's department.  That and a fleece vest completed my look for that session.  Dear Lord, did I not have a mirror?!  My neighbor jokes about her "skinner tube" and ohmyword, that is totally what I have going on here.  I wonder had I realized it if I could have stood up straighter and sucked that in ... or if that WAS sucking it in.

I've said before that a slim girl can wear just a t-shirt and jeans and be put together.  Or at least not look sloppy and like they're in men's clothing.  As further evidence of the difference added weight makes, consider this:  for this year's retreat, we drove up to the mountains on Friday morning.  We unloaded the band gear and set up what we could on stage, and then helped the decorating team where we could.  We hung around most of the afternoon and didn't get to actually rehearse until 5:00.  Dinner was from 5:45 - 7:00 and the first session started at 7:00.  I had purposely dried my hair straight that morning, thinking I'd curl it before the session.  Instead, I brushed my teeth, threw on a sweater, and ran (actual running) back to the building where we were meeting.  And although I'd have liked to freshen up a little more, I felt fine.  And comfortable.  And not gross.  Because I was almost 70 pounds lighter than last year, when I needed full make-up and curled hair for every session ... because I was so fat.  I'm not feeling sorry for myself; I'm just stating the facts as they were.  And are :)

So here I am in the dark (far left) and then after the session in a human scrabble game (FUN!) in the sweater I threw on over the tank top I wore all day.  Please to ignore the one random jazz hand I'm holding up :)

Wanna hear something fun?  My sis said she had to look at that pic twice to see me in it.  Ha!

But my point is that I just don't feel the same as I did 70 pounds ago.  I really can just throw on a sweater and for the most part, feel fine.  I think when I was so heavy, finding clothes I liked and felt comfortable in was SUCH hard work!  There were very few outfits I actually liked.  So I was always trying to come up with a new outfit out of the existing ones, but not really succeeding (evidence A:  brown thermal men's shirt). 

Below are some more of the comparison pics.  It sort of boggles me to look at then and now.  It also makes me a little sad that I lived that much of my life that big, but I'm not dwelling on that.  In fact, I recently told my hubs that I was sorry I was so fat for so long.  He couldn't have been more gracious.  He told me he'd always loved me and loved me just the same and that he appreciated me apologizing, but not to be sad or think about it a lot or feel guilty or whatever (I can't remember his exact words, but he was really, really sweet about it).  So ... for your viewing pleasure:  remaining comparison pics:

Oh, the monster sweatshirt shots are from Saturday night -- we had a "pajama party", so I wore a big sweatshirt and yoga pants.  Wow.

Just had to get in the full pic of the djembe and guitar player's jammie bottoms :)

The retreat committee ... acting like grownups.  Trust me, folks; this is NOT your mother's women's ministry :)

I think I'm actually introducing the band in that pic on the left.  Or something.

I had to wear the same pants the whole weekend because the long jersey maxi skirt I brought for Saturday night was see-through in the lights we brought.  And I didn't even care!  (I mean that I had to wear the same jeans; not that I didn't care about my see-through skirt)

Oh, and also:  I stole this one from a friend's Instagram feed.  We didn't have a wandering photographer this year like last year, and it didn't occur to me I should ask someone to take a pic :)

We didn't have a pajama party this year, but I did bring this t-shirt and yoga pants to sleep in.  And on Saturday night, several of us visited in the lobby in our "jammies".  I believe my exact words on this were, "don't you hate it when someone else shows up in the same jammies as you?"

(and if you're wondering, these are the shirts our church handed out when we added the evening service and asked people to come to it to make more room at the morning services.  See?  It says RedRocksPM)

I didn't look schlumpy the ENTIRE retreat last year.  See?

Also, what I love about this particular picture is that at the end of the session on the first night, we broke into groups and to encourage inter-generational mingling, each group had to have people born in at least 4 different decades.  Well, this is the band, and we did.  I was born in the 60s, the keyboard and graphics girls were born in the 70s, the djembe player was born in the 80s, and the guitar & fiddle player was born in the 90s!  That made me so happy :)

When you are 100 lbs overweight, the weight comes off ... quickly (relatively speaking)

When you're ... oh, 30 pounds or so overweight, not so much.  For anyone keeping track, I hit the -60 "decade" on January 5.  Monday was May 6.  4 months to the almost-day.  For the last 4 months, it seemed as if I'd never hit that -70!  Sure, for a time I was all, "I made it through Christmas and travel and all that stuff and kept losing.  I'm a stud."  And then I walked a little less because you know, January in Colorado.  And then February.  And then March.  And I did use the stationary bike in the basement, and I did walk when it was sunny (which it was, because you know, January in Colorado), but the scale wasn't moving.  Or rather, it was, but it just kept floating between 185, 183, 184, 182.5, back up to 186, 184, 182 ... you get the picture.  And I was a little discouraged, but not too.  I just thought it was taking an awful dang long time.

And then I went on the women's retreat for our church and when I got home, I had shot right through that plateau and landed at 178 (-72)!  You can guess my response.  HOLY FREAKING NO WAY COW ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  And then my second response?  Dang.  I wanted a pic of "you are down 70 pounds".  There is nothing "round" about 72.  Nothing equal.  Nothing milestone-y.  *sigh*  I really do have the most ridiculous first world problems, don't I?  Poor thing.

So ... here is the latest 10-pound pic, and all its round faced little friends.

-70

-60

-50

-40

-30

-20

-10

Approx 250 lbs

Magical Transformer Underwear!

It's possible this will only entertain me, but ... well, that means at least one person thinks it's entertaining, so here you have it:  transformer underwear.

I mentioned recently that size 7 underwear looks significantly smaller straight out of the package than size 9.  Guess what?  It also looks smaller than size 10!  Turns out I'd been wearing underwear sizes 9 and 10 since I was at my highest weight.  Interestingly, of all the clothes I'd taken to the consignment shop, or the charity shop, or are sitting in a pile because I don't know what to do with them, it took me QUITE a while to need new underwear.  But evidently I'm a little slow on the uptake, because I was thinking, "these still fit me" all along. When in fact what had happened was this:

Cute little hipster underwear that used to fit like this or was at least cut to fit like this (only with a few more fat rolls than this model, plus actual hips):

Turned into granny panties like this (The Hubs calls them GPs):

So ... yes, in fact, they DO fit ... but ohmyword, they look hilarious!  What's funnier is that I don't think I even figured it out -- The Hubs noticed I'd been wearing GPs -- lots of them -- since I'd lost weight (the assumption, of course, being that once a person lost weight, they'd prefer littler, prettier undies, no?), and even then it took a while for me to figure it out.  OH. DUH.  I actually have lost weight, and continuing to wear the same underwear just means it covers more of me.  And because there's nothing wrong with them --  no rips, tears, or holes -- I hate to throw them out!

But I've tossed all the 10s (no; I am NOT donating them to a charity shop), and I'm weeding out the 9s.  And I'm wearing the new 7s that I bought, which look a lot more like the top picture on me than any underwear ever did before :)

Now, if  someone could please get rid of these piles ...

1. clothes I think I'm going to do something with 2. clothes I have no idea why are in another pile  3. clothes to go to the charity shop

1. clothes for the consignment shop for next winter  2. rag bag

It's about the health, stupid.

So here's what I was planning to write about today:
My calendar.

Why?  Because it's just one of the many things that has helped motivate me, keep me on track, and kept me going over the last ... 46 weeks (that info also from my calendar).  Why did I think it was worth writing about?  Well, I was thinking this morning about how much I like the ability to color-code things (yes, I like office supply stores, too), and using my calendar is just one more thing that has helped me.  Last spring/summer and part of the fall*, I walked with my neighbor almost every morning.  So I decided to put it into my calendar as a recurring event.  Basically, every morning at 6:30, it said "Walk with Rachel." And we did.  Then one day I put a Wednesday night yoga class in the calendar, too.  And I realized it shouldn't actually be the default lavender that many of my events were.  I needed a color for HEALTH!  And so began the "greening" of my calendar.  My 6:30 weekday appointment with my neighbor?  GREEN.  My sporadic yoga classes?  GREEN.  So when I made a doctor's appointment, or anything that had to do with my health, I made it GREEN.  Now those things on my calendar were no longer "exercise;" they were "health appointments!"

I don't know if that helps you or not, but honestly?  It helped me.  And I'll take all the help I can get.  Do you like checking things off?  Putting them in lists?  Filling in blanks on your calendar?  If you like doing any of those things in the rest of your life, I bet you'd like doing them for working out, too.  Go ahead -- prove me wrong :)

And so on my way to my mammogram (appoint in GREEN) this morning, I thought I'd write a bit about how using my calendar in this way actually became motivational.


Except that once I got into my smock and 3/4 of the way through the appointment, the fire alarm went off, and that became much more interesting :)  So yeah, the fire alarm went off while I was having a mammogram (which is almost as funny as the time I was rear-ended on the way to a root canal).  And I'll just leave you with how I looked today at 185 pounds, and how I looked at the last appointment, at 195 pounds (I had a mid-year checkup checkup in there), because I keep saying I'm going to post progress photos.

195 lbs.

185 lbs.

*My neighbor had a baby in September, so our walking schedule -- together -- is pretty random now.  It's no longer on the calendar, but that's ok because working out is now an ingrained part of my life.  Which was the whole point to begin with.

And then I compared two pictures...

I saw this this morning, and because I am, in fact, the Queen of Procrastination, it seemed appropriate.  Why, beyond the obvious?  Because I was on Pinterest, looking for some inspiration :)  LOLz

Anyway, back to the subject at hand:
A long time ago (June 6, 2012, to be exact), I took a picture of myself in an outfit I wear often to walk in.  It occurred to me sometime later that it might be fun to continue to take pics of myself in the same outfit over time, for comparison purposes.  So I've been taking this picture ever since, randomly when I happen to be wearing the same clothes.  Yes, the same clothes.  Oddly, they aren't falling off me yet, which would be kind of cool, but suffice it to say they are snug and/or made of magical stretchy things.  Or something.

On February 28, 2013, I happened to be wearing that outfit again, so I took the pic.  And for the first time, I compared it to the original.  I'd been avoiding comparing them - I see them periodically when I scroll through the pics in my phone's photo album, but I really haven't looked closely at them.  It's possible I feared there wouldn't be a noticeable difference, if I'm being honest.

Anyway, if this makes you spontaneously burst into "Baby Got Back," don't feel bad -- I did, too :)

June 6, 234 lbs       vs.       Feb 28, 187 lbs.

Yes, I will post the whole series when I am closer to my goal weight, but for now, this is the wallpaper on my phone because I find it frickin inspiring!

And for some other non-milestone milestones, I have this to share with you:

• Size 7 underwear is visibly, noticeably smaller than size 9 underwear.  Trust me on this.
• I finally had to take my wedding ring in to be sized down, because it was about to fall off me.  So yeah, that happened.

Yes, I really did walk a half marathon!

And I'd like to tell you about it :)

Warning:  this entry is long, picture-heavy, and may not be in complete sentences.

about to begin our epic adventure

So ... where to begin?

It was hard.
but not impossible.

Cheering Gramma and the Boyz

We set (and kept) such a good pace that my poor brother-in-law who had planned out all the cheering spots on the route, based on me telling him I did 15-minute miles ... totally missed us (but they were all there yelling at the end!).  I felt horrible that he'd worked so hard to get my mom and 3 squirrelly little boys to those spots on the map and then he felt bad for not meeting us and then Sharon made a good point:  if we were missing our cheerleaders because we were walking at such a fantastic pace, that was a pretty awesome thing.  Also, at least one of the boys thought one of us would win and/or break a record.  Love that.

There was a point at which I thought, "am I going to have to stop?"
and shortly after that I thought, "I'm just going to have to tell Sharon to go on ahead and I'll just finish it much more slowly."
I got a little bit choked up when I realized we were on the final incline into the stadium.
...and shortly after that we were done!

Yes, I'd do it again.
Although maybe not in cold, wet Seattle (but there's something to be said for sea-level).

obligatory fog shot

And in case I didn't make it clear in my "night before the marathon" post, let me be clear:  although my legs will never be shorter, losing all this weight has made a HUGE difference in how I feel about flying.  Seriously.  While not actually "comfortable", my flights to/from Seattle and again at Christmas to/from Vermont were totally new experiences for me.  Flying 50+ pounds lighter is just plain nothing like it was when I was heavy(ier).  Fitting into the seat and not spending the entire flight pushing down the armrest that my fat is pushing up makes the whole flight so pleasant!  And although I never used a seat belt extender, I'm pretty sure I was on the way to needing one.  Thankfully I will never experience that and even though my hips are still pretty wide, they now fit in the standard coach seat just fine, thankyouverymuch.  Amazing. 

Love this pic of my sis and her oldest

There's a picture at my sister's house I've always liked.  It's from when we lived in Turkey, and for some reason my sister (age 5?  6? no older) went jogging with my dad, who was the Chief of Police on base.  The pic was taken by an "official" photographer and I think ended up in the base newspaper or something.  When I saw this one of my sister her and her (oldest son) manchild, I got choked up because it reminded me of that other picture. I love their smiles here, I love that even though she told him to go on ahead without her he stayed with her, and I love the man he's becoming!



And here is my fabulous oldest niece.  Her foot hurt, and she had to slow down, but you'd never know it from this pic.  This is the happy, sunny girl I have known since ... hmmm ... since she was 4 months old at our wedding.  I love this beautiful, smart, funny, thoughtful girl so much!  I'm so, so glad she did this race with us!

And here we are, about to cross the finish line.  I realized later that all the stuff I had in my vest pockets made me look pregnant, but oh well. Those kinds of things don't actually bother me as much anymore.  Funny, that.  Also?  In all the official pictures of the race, my mouth is open.  I may or may not have talked Sharon's ear off.  Whoops.

Here is the whole squad at the end.  I  seriously love this shot. We did it!  We all did it! (sis is wearing a warming blanket -- that question has come up a lot)  See our medals?  They are surprisingly substantial-feeling.  And I wished I'd worn mine on the flight home.  Oh well.  Now I know.







And here are some of our cheerleaders and two of the runners, warming up ... in the warming room.  I have very cute nieces and nephews, no?






If you are considering walking or running a half marathon, I can recommend a great post-marathon routine:

• Go to the evening service at church.
• Try to stay awake.  It's HARD.  I'm not gonna lie.
• Have Chipotle for dinner (seriously, a burrito as big as your head is a GREAT way to begin to fill the huge hole in your gut that won't be satisfied).
• Followed by chocolate chip cookie dough.
• And a pedicure the next day.

chocolate chip cookie dough: post marathon win

• 
  

Or a lemon-basil martini the next.  I recommend all of the above :)

... and then I was down 60 pounds!

I don't know about you, but Christmas and then New Year's Eve and then 2013 totally surprised me.  Not in a bad way, but they flew by in a blur.  I mean a real live, honest-to-goodness blur.  Like I can't believe today is the 5th.  Like I thought it was just (American) Thanksgiving.  Like did we really go to Vermont and back and it's already 2013?  And most of all, like I thought I weighed somewhere around 196 and then today when I got on the scale, I was already down to 190.  OHMYWORD, I HAVE LOST SIXTY POUNDS!

Phew.  I gotta catch my breath.


And so, as is my custom, here is the latest 10-pound pic, along with its predecessors.  Even after having a ton of food on New Year's Eve, I hit -60 on January 5.  I'm as shocked as you are.

-60

-40

-50

-30

-20

Approx 250 lbs

-10