Anyway, here are some pics from 2011 and this year. I think it's pretty obvious which are which :)
Here's what's interesting to me. I had taken a lot of cute late summer/early fall-ish tops to wear -- it was still plenty warm down in Denver around that time, but when we got up in the mountains, it was cold. Colder than I prepared for. We even had some snow at least one of the days. So I chose to wear this long-sleeved thermal shirt on stage. I think I had taken it up as "free-time clothes". It was huge - even for me -- and I think (?) from the men's department. That and a fleece vest completed my look for that session. Dear Lord, did I not have a mirror?! My neighbor jokes about her "skinner tube" and ohmyword, that is totally what I have going on here. I wonder had I realized it if I could have stood up straighter and sucked that in ... or if that WAS sucking it in.
I've said before that a slim girl can wear just a t-shirt and jeans and be put together. Or at least not look sloppy and like they're in men's clothing. As further evidence of the difference added weight makes, consider this: for this year's retreat, we drove up to the mountains on Friday morning. We unloaded the band gear and set up what we could on stage, and then helped the decorating team where we could. We hung around most of the afternoon and didn't get to actually rehearse until 5:00. Dinner was from 5:45 - 7:00 and the first session started at 7:00. I had purposely dried my hair straight that morning, thinking I'd curl it before the session. Instead, I brushed my teeth, threw on a sweater, and ran (actual running) back to the building where we were meeting. And although I'd have liked to freshen up a little more, I felt fine. And comfortable. And not gross. Because I was almost 70 pounds lighter than last year, when I needed full make-up and curled hair for every session ... because I was so fat. I'm not feeling sorry for myself; I'm just stating the facts as they were. And are :)
So here I am in the dark (far left) and then after the session in a human scrabble game (FUN!) in the sweater I threw on over the tank top I wore all day. Please to ignore the one random jazz hand I'm holding up :)
Wanna hear something fun? My sis said she had to look at that pic twice to see me in it. Ha!
But my point is that I just don't feel the same as I did 70 pounds ago. I really can just throw on a sweater and for the most part, feel fine. I think when I was so heavy, finding clothes I liked and felt comfortable in was SUCH hard work! There were very few outfits I actually liked. So I was always trying to come up with a new outfit out of the existing ones, but not really succeeding (evidence A: brown thermal men's shirt).
Below are some more of the comparison pics. It sort of boggles me to look at then and now. It also makes me a little sad that I lived that much of my life that big, but I'm not dwelling on that. In fact, I recently told my hubs that I was sorry I was so fat for so long. He couldn't have been more gracious. He told me he'd always loved me and loved me just the same and that he appreciated me apologizing, but not to be sad or think about it a lot or feel guilty or whatever (I can't remember his exact words, but he was really, really sweet about it). So ... for your viewing pleasure: remaining comparison pics:
Oh, and also: I stole this one from a friend's Instagram feed. We didn't have a wandering photographer this year like last year, and it didn't occur to me I should ask someone to take a pic :)
(and if you're wondering, these are the shirts our church handed out when we added the evening service and asked people to come to it to make more room at the morning services. See? It says RedRocksPM)
Also, what I love about this particular picture is that at the end of the session on the first night, we broke into groups and to encourage inter-generational mingling, each group had to have people born in at least 4 different decades. Well, this is the band, and we did. I was born in the 60s, the keyboard and graphics girls were born in the 70s, the djembe player was born in the 80s, and the guitar & fiddle player was born in the 90s! That made me so happy :)